I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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