did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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