Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
