you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
