Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
