There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
