Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
