after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
