I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
