and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
