I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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