I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
