Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize