so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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