At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
