Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize