I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
