i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
