did you get engaged???
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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