I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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