oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Drake has all the answers
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
