What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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