i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
