i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
