I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
