DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me