are you so shy because you have an std?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
