Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am spending my child support on dildos

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  (405): I am spending my child support on dildos http://tfl.nu/j7aa
  Replies (78) Good night (1134) Bad night (3890) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson

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  (631): Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson http://tfl.nu/hv6u
  Replies (27) Good night (650) Bad night (2549) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes

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  (909): so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes http://tfl.nu/5z0g
  Replies (15) Good night (606) Bad night (5157) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

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  (818): We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings. http://tfl.nu/9pm8
  Replies (26) Good night (5642) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out

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  (732): Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out http://tfl.nu/au0t
  Replies (33) Good night (2729) Bad night (5718) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

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  (715): You're barking up the wrong lesbian. http://tfl.nu/4ul9
  Replies (11) Good night (4180) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

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  (781): she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg http://tfl.nu/c3oo
  Replies (17) Good night (5678) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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  (608): and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test http://tfl.nu/8oo5
  Replies (14) Good night (3108) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am

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  (716): I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am http://tfl.nu/oz9f
  Replies (5) Good night (2840) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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  (937): They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks. http://tfl.nu/nsc0
  Replies (3) Good night (1713) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified

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  (603): More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified http://tfl.nu/si7g
  Replies (5) Good night (1436) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're kidding right?

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  (416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n
  Replies (9) Good night (2615) Bad night (412)
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  (714): View more from California

  When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong

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  (714): When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong http://tfl.nu/jidy
  Replies (5) Good night (374) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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  (515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2
  Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.

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  (540): I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher. http://tfl.nu/sltj
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (254)

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