I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
