I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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