i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
