she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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