just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
