She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
