Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
