She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
