So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
