I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
