So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
