I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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