And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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