put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
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I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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