doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We left the knife in your bed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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