i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
