I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize