i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone signed my nipple.
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