saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
