I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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