Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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