I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize