I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
