playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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