She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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