you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
