i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize