At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
4 words: hood of his car
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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