oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
