please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
