Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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