Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
