I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
