Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
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there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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