the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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