how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i believe in u and ur pee
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
