I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
