I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
