Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
