i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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