yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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