Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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