We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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