I want to stick my p in your. b.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
