all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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